Ernie Zerlie
Ernie was a mystery to the rest of the neighborhood because we rarely saw him. He was one of the few who lived at the lake year-round, but none of us knew him because he left early in the morning and came home after dark. I think he worked at the Box Shop as did most of the town. In the entire decade or more that he lived 3 doors away, I can only recall two face-to-face encounters, plus a single bizarre display of sheer stupidity.
We routinely walked across each of the neighbors’ properties along the shore, I suppose under an unwritten understanding that the lake and beach area was public property. One day, I walked by while he was struggling with taking in his dock for the winter. I asked him if he needed help, but he was so drunk I’m not sure he even recognized me.
I don’t recall the reason, but he once invited me into his house. All I remember is that the wallpaper was a floor-to-ceiling array of life-size Cardinals, most of which were riddled with bullet holes where he had been lying in bed with a rifle. As drunk as he was, I suppose it never occurred to him that even 22-shorts would go through the wall and hit Mrs Warner’s place next door – fortunately, she was never home.
Ernie had a small hydroplane with a very large Mercury outboard motor. It was not unusual for him to come home after work and terrorize the fishermen around the entire lake. He came home late one evening after a few cocktails at the Beehive. It was pitch dark, and there were running lights on his boat, but nothing like a spot light or masthead light, so he had no idea where he was going. That didn’t prevent him from taking a spin around the lake. When he capsized, just past the drop off in front of all the neighbors, awakened by his antics, the roar of the engine stopped abruptly. We could all hear him yelling for help, but apparently, everyone was hoping he would drown. His hydroplane sank in 30 to 40 feet of water with the motor intact and was never seen again.
By: Jim
Written: September 22, 2025
Published: October 15, 2025
Revised: